It's rather ironic that I complained in my last posts about Huntington's blogs that abruptly stop posting----and then fall off the earth myself only to come back SIX years later.
Hey, I've been busy finishing up my education goals and figuring out the living situation. Right now, we are trying to build a bathroom on the first floor of the house. I am about to quit my job as a Social Worker to get Harry's home care in order, figure out his medical wills and all that. I honestly needed the time off to get Harry's diet and therapy regime together and to "recover" from being a social worker. It really is a rewarding job, it just seems like there are dedicated efforts to make it less rewarding from many sides. Sometimes I feel like I am being punished for my care and compassion for others. I like my clients and my co-workers, but I need to focus on home and there is so much to focus on at work. Also, it is a dangerous environment we work in, mixed with addiction and untreated mental illness. People have been killed in the last 3 months and honestly that is the last straw for me. I can handle the reality of bedbugs, body waste hoarding, consistent verbal abuse, potentially dangerous locations, potentially dangerous situations, none of these things are great, but once you start adding in *actual* death, I'm out.
I cannot justify something happening to me, who would care for Harry? He has a great family, but he is my family, my responsibility, and not in a burdenous way, in a "I don't want anyone else to do it," I want to. It hurts like a motherfucker, but I keep holding onto him. I'm afraid to let him go, but keeping him closer rips my heart out.
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